I remember getting freaked out at the sight of my shadow when I was a toddler. It interested me at times, (seeing it grow bigger and smaller) but I’d wish for it to leave my side at times. I’d want to step over it, try to run faster than it, but it never really left.
As time passed, I grew acquainted with it, I wasn’t afraid anymore, I never really acknowledged it to be honest.
What was this fear of the dark that had dwelled within me? Did it really go away or did it just transmute to the different aspects of my life?
We’ve been conditioned to detest the dark. The media portrays evil and darkness as synonyms. Norms have been set by the society that anything that is intense and dark is unacceptable.
We blanket darkness with more darkness. We cover the the darkness of our emotions with the brightness of logic, because that makes us acceptable.
It’s like day and night, yin and yang, good and bad. Everything has been created in balance. So why don’t we acknowledge the lesser preferred side to our being?
The better I was at dealing with my negativity, the easier it was to flow through it. I found comfort in my darkness even if it was dominant in my personality at times.
I’ve always been against the suppression of emotions. I think it’s okay to not be okay at times and you owe no one any explanation for the same.
Feel it, the thing you don’t want to feel,
Feel it and be free.
-Nayyirah Waheed
If you’re hurt or angry or sad, the first step would be awareness, and not putting a mask of happiness and forcing yourself to feel what you aren’t in the first place.
We’re in a hurry to move forward so quickly that were often insensitive to the healing of our emotional wounds. Don’t we nurse physical wounds with utmost care?
I found it easier to let go of all pain and trauma, when I could understand and accept my darkness however intense, and march ahead with the baton of self forgiveness, only then was I really peaceful.
You need to unearth all parts of yourself and recognise and express pain.
Though it has been deemed shameful to be able to express this alternate side of our personality because we are expected to be people pleasers.
But what about the long term damage I cause to my soul by constant suppression of my thoughts and feelings?
Undercover emotions form long term destructive patterns that bounce back at a higher intensity later in life.
This is what results in breakdowns, suicides, depression, divorces and psychological disorders.
We claim to be at a stage where rights are given to various groups, the society is free and expressive, but no one really acknowledges feelings that are slaughtered everyday, irrespective of gender, class or nationality.
At this point I’d like to know, if we haven’t really acknowledged one dormant side of ourselves, are we really free and developing? Or is society climbing heights of technological advancement on the corpses of the emotions of the human race?
solaceworks 